Zeke

GOODBYE 2018, HELLO 2019

January 3, 2019 by Little Miss Honey 634 Comments

I am so glad 2018 is finally over. I am looking forward for 2019. I guess I can say that 2018 has been a trying year for me. I decided to take the challenges, tears, sweat, anxieties and heartbreaks of 2018 as lessons for the future. They say all experiences even the bad are opportunities for learning.

Goodbye 2018

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My start of my year bled me dry. Have you ever felt like every part of your body experienced thousand of papercuts, slicing you unexpectedly over and over again? I guess that what it feels like when a glass gets shattered into broken pieces and in spite of the attempt to piece it back together, it will never be the same again. Then I realised something. I prefer brutal truths than sugarcoated white fibs. How sad it is to look back at your life when you realised that reality is uncovered and what you thought what was before is just a reflection of your unreliable rose-colored glasses. But then I surged on and prayed with my family by my side, my skin thickened from the pain in spite of its occasional throbbing of papercuts. God whispered in my ears a secret and a promise so I smiled and accepted my fate.

Expectations is the mother of all frustrations. Have you waited & waited for something and it never came? I would tell myself maybe it is my fault. Things or opportunities never knock twice. I was a fool for saying “No” when fate beckons and now in my waiting, I am being punished for waiting for something that will never come. I now understand people who been waiting for years to get out of unlawful imprisonment, that positive sign on the pregnancy test, the call from a dream company, the appearance of the elusive prince charming, the ring on your finger from a man who been dating for 10 years, etc. I totally get them now. I am one of you. And by the end of 2018 as I put another stick to number of the days, it never came. Will I be luckier in 2019? When I get it, will it taste sweeter because I been wanting it for so long or it would taste like a foul stale bread inside my mouth?

So with my little hearbreaks throughout the year, it gave way to what will be my theme for 2019. I decided to just let go. I am letting go of:

expectations

anxieties

negativity

paranoia

materialism

self-deprecation

comparison

I am ready to let go of the reins. I can never have a full grip of control on the heavy waves of life on where it will lead me. So I let God do the steering and I will just trust in Him.

Gratefulness List of 2018

My 2018 wasn’t all that bad. It had its great moments and a wonderful bonus in the middle part of the year. This list made me realised that 2018 weren’t as stingy in blessings after all.

1. Our Zeke

The arrival of Zeke made my 2018 bearable. I was around 6 months pregnant as 2018 enters and I gave birth to Zeke on 9th May here in Singapore. He is so cute! He was born with dimples on both his cheeks with twinkling eyes. I fell in love with him instantly as I saw him. I just felt with Zeke, my little family is complete. A family of five just felt right and didn’t feel the need to make it a family of six.

2. Wonderful Experience Delivering Baby Zeke in Singapore

I was having apprehensions delivering Zeke in Singapore. I gave birth to Naj and Fynn in the Philippines. I was worried about how my caesarean operation would go, the hospital bills and many more if I give birth in Singapore. I heard horror stories of mommies incurring large amount of debt in hospital due to complications occurring during the delivery. But my worries was laid to rest when my operation went smoothly, baby is ok, we managed to pay the hospital bills without a hitch and we had a wonderful hospital stay in KK Hospital.

3. Longer Maternity Leave, More Time with the Kids

Since I gave birth in Singapore, I didn’t have to fly to the Philippines early in my pregnancy and didn’t have to rush back to Singapore to work. I had longer days with Zeke and my two toddlers at home. I was happily breastfeeding Zeke at home and I get to have playtime with Naj and Fynn. I would tutor Naj after his daily playtime at the condo playground. I get to make breakfast for Fynn, my always hungry monster as well as for my hubby. I got the needed rest at home.

4. Maternity Shoot with Wein

I never have done any maternity shoot with my two older kids. I was thinking it is too wasteful and expensive. I was also looking like a hippo when I am 7-8 months pregnant which made me not even think of anyone taking my photo. But then with Zeke, I decided to have an amateur photo session with my creative friend, Wein. She visited Singapore for a shortwhile and we made it happen. I was happy with the results.

5. Friendships

I was overjoyed to have create deep connections with women who are struggling with life just like me. It was nice to share, support and laugh with genuine friends. I am grateful that I have a tribe here in Singapore that I can run to for a shoulder to cry on and who would cheer you on and pray for you.

6. Successful Big Event I Organized

One of my big stresses of 2018 was organising this big event for work. It took a year of planning and very detailed execution. I wanted it to be a success and not a total failure so I was under a lot of pressure and stress. It was my first time to organise an event and at a big scale. But my efforts paid off and it was a huge success. My boss complimented me for a job well done.

7. Amazing blogging collaborations

I am amazed at how my blog has grown. I would received constant emails of blogging engagements from wonderful brands and companies. I felt blessed with the opportunities that was showered upon me. Some of the brands that I have worked with last year and some are ongoing this year are MilkyWay Maternity & Nursing Wear, Cynbolic Nail Bar, Lucky Lash Brow, La Vie Aesthetics, Tayo Station, Pororo Indoor Playground, Alfero Gelato, Pink Parlour, Kkkboats Cruise and many others. It is humbling to know that these brands and companies trust me to feature them in my blog.

8. Trips to Johor Bahru, Malaysia

I didn’t get to travel much this year but my family and I have been to nearby Johor Bahru for staycations. One of the brands that I have worked with last year was Cynbolic NailBar in Johor Bahru had arranged for us a night stay in Hotel Jen Puteri Harbour. The kids enjoyed the trip so much and Hotel Jen is etched in their memories, they keep repeating anecdotes of our stay there. So on Naj’s birthday, we went back to stay in Hotel Jen in Johor and spent a day in Legoland Malaysia.

9. Naj & Fynn

I can never stop being grateful for my two big boys. They have grown up to be so sweet and loving. They are very talkative and inquisitive now. It is fun to talk to them. They say the funniest things. They always show their concern for me and rest of the people in the house. They would always tell us, “Be careful!” if we are standing on stools to reach objects, “Are you okay, Mommy (or Ate Dar)?” if we are not feeling well and lots of “I love you”s all day. They are self-reliant by always putting their cups & plates in the sink after they finished drinking & eating and they put back their shoes in the shoes rack after going out. They love to build cool block creations and would tell me cartoons stories. They pray before eating and before sleeping. They do fight a lot everyday just like my sister and I before. I hope one of these days they will they will stop fighting and be best of friends.

10. Fun Christmas Party

My hubby and I hosted a Christmas party with our friends. My hubby grilled a mean perfectly- marinated Pork Belly and I cooked KareKare, a peanut butter beef stew which is my dad’s recipe. Our dishes were guests’ favorites! The rest of the visitors brought potluck dishes. All the wives who were organizing planned games for the party. It was so fun! Boys vs Girls. We laugh so hard throughout the games. We also had games for kids.

11. Discovered my colors

I wanted to stop at 10 but this is a bonus. Late of last year, I discovered Color Analysis. It is what most image consultant use to determine what colors works for you in clothing and makeup. I been hoping that I would look good in pastels, dusty rose, blush pink and dusty blue but I look so washed-out. I discovered I am a Clear Winter and I look better in bright saturated color. So instead of blush pink and pale green for my fashion color, I will be sticking to White, Black and Blood Red. I throw in sometimes some emerald green, bright fuchsia, hot pink, lemon yellow and icy blue. Just think of Audrey Hepburn’s wardrobe in Funny Face.

Thank you 2018 for the blessings. Thank you for the lessons. And especially thank you for giving us Zeke. I am letting go of my heavy baggage of 2018. Hi 2019! I want to face you, 2019, lighter (emotionally & hopefully, physically too – 1.5 to 2 kg to be exact.) and baggage-free. I am letting go of expectations, anxieties, negativity, paranoia, materialism, self-deprecation and comparison. I am all yours, naked & free. Do me as you will. Take me in a new adventure. You have my full attention. Surprise me and please promise me, make this a good one to make up for 2018. Thanks in advance!

10 RECOMMENDED ITEMS FOR NEW MOMS THAT ARE WORTH BUYING

June 13, 2018 by Little Miss Honey 826 Comments

I was one of those new moms who feels overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to buy once baby arrives. There are so much products in the market that you get confused what to buy for baby as well as you as a new mom. I am guilty for accumulating items in the house that I though I would need or baby would need but it end up neglected and never been used.

So now, being a mom of three, I can share with you 10 Recommended Items for New Moms That Are Worth Buying. I have been using these items with my 3 kids and I highly recommend them. And I have to mention that these products are not sponsored. I just happen to love them and save new moms the trouble of buying too much useless items.

ADEN + ANAIS SWADDLE

When I was still pregnancy withy first-born, my good friend living in the US and Naj’s godmother sent me a package filled of wonderful baby stuff which I have to say I been using the products up to my 3rd son. One of the items there is the Aden + Anais Swaddle. They are amazing! My first two sons doesn’t like to swaddle but I got to use these cloths in many ways. Though, I would usually used these cloth for them to be wrapped in going home from the hospital.

Naj in Aden + Anais Swaddle Muslin

I used it to placed as a cover for my babies to lie down. The texture is so soft and comfortable. I can also use it as their bath towel to dry them up. I used it as burping cloths too. When we are out, I used it too as a nursing cover. It is breathable so it reduces the risk of overheating. They also come in cute patterns. Now, Zeke loves being swaddled. So I get to used it more often and I even got more patterns.

2. Baby K’Tan Carrier

Mommy carrying Zeke in the Baby K’Tan while holding Fynn

I love this carrier a lot! It is truly magical. I been using it with my 3 boys and they all love it. I prefer carriers than strollers so I gotten so much used out of this. I could never bear to throw this away. Being an advocate of attachment parenting and babywearing, I couldn’t emphasise how great this carrier is. I would attribute my sons ~~clinginess~~ closeness to me because of this one. Inside the Baby K’Tan, they sleep easily while we are on-the-go. They feel like they are still inside my womb, warm, safe and cozy. It looks great in clothes that it almost look like part of your wardrobe ensemble. It can also strategically cover my flabby arms and hide a bit of my postpartum belly. It is also perfect for breastfeeding. It can act as breastfeeding cover as well.

with baby Naj during a Breastfeeding Group Gathering

3. MEDELA FREESTYLE BREASTPUMP

I am an advocate of breastfeeding. I love the benefits of breastfeeding to my little ones. Once I was back at work, I need to pump milk for them. I had several breastpumps. I currently have two breastpumps but if I get to choose one, it would be the Medela Freestyle Breastpump. I like that it is very handy. I used it anywhere on-the-go, even in bus stops, grocery, buses, trains, etc. I can pump while eating my lunch, watching videos on my phone and reading a book. It is not loud and not heavy. It can effectively empty my breast from milk. I do used the Spectra M1 Breastpump which is not expensive and very strong to effectively empty the breasts. However, if I get to choose only one, it would still be the Medela Freestyle. I think it is a good investment.

4. Peep & Drink Nursing Cover

While we are still in the subject of breastfeeding, I found the perfect nursing cover. I have used several nursing covers before and I find that this is the best one. I like that it has a wire in the neck area so you can see your baby and your baby won’t feel suffocated. It has an adjustable neckline too. I find the tie-back feature to be a bit troublesome so I cut both ends so I can tie back on my own instead of the loop feature. It comes in different fun patterns.

6. PUMPEASE HANDSFREE PUMPING BRA

Since I am a working breastfeeding momma, I need a handsfree pumping bra to use during my lunch time pumping session. I need to pump milk while eating my lunch at the same time. I previously got a pumping bra that is a dual zipper in front but I found it too troublesome that I stopped using it. I am glad I found the PumpEase Handsfree Pumping Bra which makes pumping milk so easy and somehow, coincidentally, I can produce more milk using this pumping bra.

7. TULA CARRIER

Once baby gets to be too heavy for me to use the Baby K’Tan, we would often use a stroller or a more sturdy carrier. We have tried the Baby Bjorn before. We still have it. But I found the Tula Carrier to be one for us. I used Baby Bjorn only up to when Naj was 6 months old. The adjusting and putting on can be a hassle. However with the Tula Carrier, I have used it with Fynn way past 12 months of age. It was so easy to put on without needing anyones’ help. It is not painful for my back or shoulders. If you love to travel as a family, this is the best to bring along. My hubby and I managed to handle two young kids in our winter travel to Korea with me carrying Fynn in this Tula carrier instead of using a stroller.

8. BAMBOO BELLY BANDIT

Credit: www.epharmacy.com.au

After pregnancy, you are often put on a binder for your belly especially for caesarean mommies. They would often apply a cloth binder using bobby pins to help provide support and shrink back your belly size. But I have learned about the Bamboo Belly Bandit and I have been using it even with my first born. I love that it is comfortable. It is not itchy and provide great support for me. These are its claims and I can attest to it:

Helps shrink your belly, waist and hips
Helps you lose centimeters faster
Provides support while breast feeding
Recommended by Doctors
Accelerates healing
Supports back, legs and core muscles
Helps expedite fluids through your system
Provides comfort for C-section moms
Our exclusive Power Compress Core is your secret weapon
Latex free

9. SAFETY 1st BATH SLING

Credit: www.amazon.com

This is the bomb! My kids love bathing in this. It is so safe and it made me enjoy bathing my kids especially when I was a first-time mom. They can just sit there safely while I bathe my baby. I usually put the baby sling inside a baby tub. When they get a little older and bigger around 4-5 months, the sturdy baby sling would do. It is designed for quick drying to prevent mold and very durable. I been using the same one with my 3 kids. It has cushioned legs and side and very light weight that I can bring along during travel. It is also easy to store when not in use however it is not bendable.

10. COTTON ON BANDANA BIBS

Fynn with Mamu

Babies are drool-machines. We need bibs for them. I love Cotton On Baby cute take on bibs. I adore their stylish bandana bibs. They are not cumbersome and too large. They are very soft too. I like that it can function as a bibs but also makes my kids looks so fashionable and cool as well.

I hope my top 10 recommendations has been useful. Let me know if there are other items you would recommend for new mommies or parents as they embark in the exciting world of parenthood.

DEAR ZEKE: LETTER TO MY 3RD SON

May 24, 2018 by Little Miss Honey 688 Comments

Dear Zeke,

Taken on the day he was delivered

I have written letters for your two older brother weeks after I have given birth to them, of course, I have a letter for you too, my precious 3rd-born. When I learned I was pregnant with you, I have to admit I was a little bit surprised. We were planning to have you a little later part of 2017 around the Ber-season but God is mysterious and love surprises, I found out I was pregnant on August 2017 by buying a pregnancy kit in a local pharmacy after your big bro, Fynn’s vaccination appointment with his doctor. I didn’t wait at home to check if I was pregnant or not. I went to the public toilet and did the test while your two brothers & their nanny waited outside. And yes, I was pregnant with you! I have to say, it came with a bit of shock and initially, I didn’t know how to react. But I recalled a few days before I learned I was having you, I was experiencing some uncertainties and confusion in our next step in our plans in life.Did we want to continue living in Singapore, do we want to go back to the Philippines or do we want to start over in a new country again? So one lunch time on a work week, I went to an empty church near our workplace to pray. I asked God for guidance and to show me the way. I was so filled with anxiety and uncertainty for my indecisiveness in our life plans. But just a day, after I learned I got pregnant with you, after I got over my initial shock, my world felt right. This pregnancy was met to be and somehow it will lead us to the right decision for us. All my anxiety vanished away and in spite of my 1st trimester fatigue and discomfort, I was extremely happy and filled with such a positive mood. You were like a happy pill!

I guess, even when you were in my womb, you acted like my source of light and strength. I needed you like you needed my womb to survive. We hanged on to each other. Because during this pregnancy, I have been through hurt, betrayal and sadness especially during the start of 2018. I have also experienced extreme stress, exhaustion and pressure with important responsibilities at work while I was heavily pregnant on my 3rd trimester. I didn’t know how I could have survived or endured all that if you weren’t there to remind me that I have to be strong for you. In a way, you comforted me during those times. You somehow told me to wipe my tears away. I guess as early as now, I have to teach you as a man, never to make a woman cry and don’t break her heart because it is one of the worst pain in the world.

I guess, you have know that your dad and I have been hoping to have a baby girl. But God knows better. I am destined to be a mom of 3 wonderful boys. When we named you Jaron Zeke, it felt right. It was meant to be. I wanted you. We were so excited to see you. I made sure you are safe and healthy. Honestly, I don’t know if I want for us to try for baby sister for you boys. When I held you in my arms after delivery and when I see the five of us together, somehow I felt complete. I don’t know if we will try for a 4th one, either a girl or a boy again. But maybe my energies and body can only handle three. We will know after three years if we will try for a 4th one.

During my pregnancy with you, I was a little bit sickly. Maybe it is my age catching up with me or maybe because now I have to take care of your two older brothers while I am pregnant with you or maybe my new workplace is farther than my previous workplace so the travel has taken a toll on my body. I was extremely sick 2 weeks before I gave birth to you. I had the worst post-nasal drip that I was coughing out phlegm all through the night with a very bad blocked nose. I was coughing so hard, I had extreme rib pain that felt like a fracture, I can hardly get up from the bed without wincing. I prayed that I will get better before I give birth to you which thankfully, I was much better on your scheduled delivery. I was glad though that I didn’t gain too much during my pregnancy and I didn’t suffer from pedal edema unlike my two pregnancies.

My pregnancy with you was different from your manongs because you are born here in Singapore. We took that chance and we were glad we did. It was a pleasant experience giving birth to you here. I was so excited on the day you were born – 9 May 2018. I had my apprehension in delivering for the first time here in Singapore but all I wanted was to see you healthy and well.

When I was in the operation room with your father on my left side and the anesthesiologist told me, “We see the baby’s head already” then I felt them trying to push you out from my belly. Then after that I heard the sweetest sound of all, your cry. I felt my eyes swelling with tears just hearing you cry. You are ok! I wanted to wipe my tears away but my hands are tied up. I wanted for you to be brought to me. A nice Filipino nurse came over to bring you to me to latch. Awww, you are such a beautiful baby! I kissed your soft dimpled cheeks.

Taken on the day Zeke was brought home from the hospital

Thank you for hanging on, my love. Thank you for being my strength during my dark days. It was also during my pregnancy with you, I started re-evaluating the important things in my life and I started to practice minimalism and mindfulness. I valued family, true friends and authentic relationships rather than materialism, fame and popularity. Time was gold and I allotted only to what are important in my life.

I am happy that your two brothers dote on you. I hope you grow up to be an amazing man you are destined to be. I love you Zeke!

Always & Forever,

Your Mommy