I am currently on my 6th month of pregnancy to Baby #3. Our family and friends are all excited on the gender reveal of Baby #3. Hubby and I have always planned to have kids with 2 years age gap, aiming to have 3 kids (still deciding if we want 4 kids) to complete the family.
Early this month, my little family along with my parents, crammed into a small taxi heading to the hospital for my scheduled detailed ultrasound scan and excited to know our baby’s gender. It was no secret, we wanted a girl. I have two boys, two wonderful active boys and we wanted to feel how it’s like to have a daughter to raise too. Plus I have two sons who clings to their mommy possessively, I would love for my other half to experience the clinginess that I heard would be directed to the daddy if you got a daughter.
In the ultrasound room, I was accompanied by my husband and our funny rambunctious kiddos who kept climbing up and down the stretcher, lying down beside me, hugging & kissing me and asking too many silly questions while I am being prepared for the scan. We had a nice experienced Filipino lady radiology technician who was understanding enough not to mind the rowdiness of our two boys and just smiled at the sweet chaos they creating in her ultrasound room. She asked us instantly, “Do you want to know if your baby is a boy or girl which was replied with an excited “Yes!”
Then she squeeze the cold ultrasound jelly into my gravid 6-month belly, her expert hands maneuvered my protruding abdomen with swift strokes and said, “Oh no, still a boy.” and she let out a little nervous laugh. We asked her politely if she can checked again which she obliged with a knowing smile and confirmed her initial findings.
Though my succeeding sentiments of that revelation would cast a shadow of sadness to my beautiful soon-to-be son when he reads this, I hope he would forgive his mommy’s imperfect human heart and I hope he would believe me when I say to him,” It’s not you, it’s me. You are wanted and you are loved so much by us.”
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Allow me to explain. I have always thought I would have a daughter, growing up to a family of women (my mama is the youngest of 7 daughters, no brothers). I have always been a girly-girl and dreamt of sharing girly advice on makeup, fashion, love and friendships to my daughter. I always believe I would be a great mom to a girl (now, I am thinking otherwise.) I nervously thought I will have a girl for my eldest because of my mom’s side of the family having a strong heredofamilial tendencies in having female offsprings but my hubby and I really wanted a boy for our first-born. God granted us our wish.
We went to dinner after our trip to the hospital. I got to have a little moment alone with my husband and I looked up to him and asked, “Is it ok if we will have only sons?” He said, “Of course, you will be our Queen.”, giving me a quick kiss on my forehead. He also added, understanding what I felt with no words uttered, “Please don’t be sad, ok? We don’t want our baby to feel that.” He also wanted a daughter so much but what is important for him is that we have a healthy normal baby. Just a little side note for people to understand, I have delivered both my kids via caesarean section with only 2 years gap (it is actually advisable to give at least a 3 years gap) & now going thrice, it can be a risk for uterine rupture if I go for a 4th one. Plus I am also nearing an age which is high-risk for further pregnancies. So I guess, my apprehensions for going for baby#4 are valid.
That night, I prayed to God. I thanked Him for the wonderful blessing of life. My baby is strong and healthy. I felt his active kicks constantly already. We are so excited to meet him and we have been choosing baby names already. We told his two Manongs about him and they were so excited. They keep kissing my belly. I also wept on the possibility that I will never ever have a daughter. I asked for forgiveness for my ungrateful heart when I have been blessed with so much already and I would imposed my selfish whims to God’s will.
I wiped my silly tears away. I felt calmer and gave in to God’s plan for my family. He knows best. He always have a perfect reason why life happens as they do. And I smiled and I let go. I will not allow this childish expectation to cloud the joy of meeting my son. We have decided to name him Zeke – Jaron Zeke. We think it is a very beautiful name. Jaron is variant of Yaron, a Hebrew name meaning “He who sings or shouts praises” and Zeke is from another Hebrew name meaning: “God strengthens, or may God strengthen.”
I started searching for kindred mommies who have all-boys and they were all happy for being spoiled with attention from their boys. They believe that raising boys are easier and they felt cool having an all-boys club at home. They will always be the Queen in the house. They did warn me of the crazy days of dealing with cuts, bruises & bleeding gums from active plays and having hoard of little cars, little airplane & toy guns scattered on the floor. I would probably start to enjoy hiking and staying outdoors more. I will have to learn about sports teams, the rules of their favorite sports, cheer if I must but stay neutral if they have opposing teams. I smiled when I read this article online. I may have been destined to be surrounded by handsome strong men to protect me for life.
I don’t know if we will ever have our own daughter but for now, I am happy at the thought that I will be a mom of boys, excited even. Am I up for the challenge? Can I really do this? I brush my doubts for now and just enjoy at the beautiful surprise God has laid out for me.
Fellow mom of boys, I would love to hear more stories from you and please share with me some tips & techniques in raising boys. Do drop me a line or we could arrange a meet-up, wouldn’t that be fun?