Me and my hubby celebrated our 1st year wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. It seems like yesterday that we exchanged our vows. A close friend of mine told me if I can blog about our life after the I-do’s. After all the glitz, glamour and fun of a meticulously-planned wedding celebration, reality starts.
They say 1 year of married life may still be in the honeymoon stage but it also a time of great adjustment between two persons. You have to consider that marriage consist of two people coming from a totally different household with different way of upbringing. The possibility of conflict and differences are inevitable.
After our honeymoon, me and my hubby have to continue our long-distance relationship for a few months before he could join me in Singapore. We both have handled the long-distance thing quite well so it wasn’t a big problem for us. Thanks to the technology nowadays! We love you whats-app!
After the LDR phase was over and hubby sacrificed his stable job in the Philippines to be with me in Singapore, the real newlywed life began. Thank God our newly wed experience is a far cry from all of the MTV’s NewlyWed Show of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Surprisingly, our 1 year as a married couple was not as dramatic or a big drastic adjustment for both of us. And mind you, we have never lived-in before our wedding. Of course, we have occasional arguments like any normal couple. But I have to say, we never have a fight more that 24 hours or we usually fixed it before we go to bed or at least we patch things up in the morning. But I have to attribute that though to my hubby. He always tries to mend things between us if we have misunderstandings. He believes that we have to talk about our conflicts, come up with solution (s) and always end with a kiss & a hug. If it was up to me , we could be in a silent war for weeks, hehe. It also helps that we hate too much drama. We are not attracted on that over-the-top teleserye couple fights. We try to keep our fights short and clean.
Of course, all marriages are different. But what is important is that both of us believe and want this sacred union to work. On the get go, J & I vowed in front of our families and friends that no matter what, No Letting Go!
Though we might have it a bit easier in our 1 year together, we know we still have a long way to go and many struggles & obstacles will come our way. But here are some things I’ve learned in my 1 year as a married woman:
1. MARRIAGE IS WORK
Yes, marriage is not easy. It is work and you need to work on it. If you think those couple with impressive longevity in their married life just sit back and let successful marriage life happens, think again. Married life is not for the fickle-minded or the faint of heart. You have to enter into it with the right mindset and stable heart.
2. CULTIVATE FRIENDSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER
Romance does fade in time I have to say. If you are addicting to that ‘I-am-kilig-in-love’ feeling then marriage is not for you because, yes, sustaining that fleeting high is temporary. It is important to cultivate friendship with your partner. You have to remember that you will be with this person for the long haul. You will be creating memories, creating a family, a home with this person. How can you do that if you are not fond that person’s company or you can’t talk about anything under the sun with that person?
Your partner should be the first person you would be excited to share that good news you got from your work, that funny video you saw in youtube or that the person you want to ask if you have an important decision to make.
3. DONT FORGET TO SAY THANK YOU AND SAY SORRY
Just because you are married that doesn’t mean every effort your partner does for you is a given so appreciation is thrown out of the window. When one of us does something for each other like cooking dinner or carrying that heavy load of laundry or buying take-out food, we always say thank you to each other. I guess that means that we shouldn’t take each other for granted. Also if you know you are at fault, don’t hesitate to say sorry. Don’t let pride take over. Anyways, if you do, both of you are in the losing end.
4. CREATE RITUALS
Me and my hubby always watch a TV series before we sleep. It’s like our bonding moment. We always try to eat dinner together no matter how tired we are. We always have our good-morning and goodnight kiss with an I-love-you. Our mornings and evenings will not be complete without it.
5. NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY
Like I mentioned, my hubby is good at this not me, hehe. Yes, since marriage is union will a goal of forever then it is best to fix it rather than let it go broken until its unfixable.
6. ADD A BIT OF SWEET HONEY
Okay, even if romance has changed its definition during married life, it is still good to drop a bit of sweetness in your domestic life. A cute corny note, flowers on bays or valentines day, a love song post in your facebook wall or a simple “i love you, beautiful” blurted out of the blue while you are dressing up for work.
7. BE EACH OTHER’S CHEERLEADER
Life has its obstacles and struggles but what is great is you have someone who will be there for you to be your rock. Always be there to listen, give each other encouragment & solutions (if you have) or a shoulder to lean on. Don’t be the devil’s advocate. Don’t be the first one to blame or point finger on your partner. Be on their side always.
8. TAKE ADVENTURES TOGETHER
Life is full of adventure. Best to share that adventure with your partner. Travel and discover new things. Grow together. This will create more wonderful memories and will strengthen your bond. Keep an open mind always and don’t be party pooper.
9. HAVE THE SAME GOALS
Having the same goals and belief system are important in having a good family life. Both of you should be going towards the same direction. We both want to have a stable and happy family life with kids and a good home. It is something we plan and talk about a lot. We are partners in reaching these goals. We help each other and support each other. We consult each other when we make decisions.
10. PRAY FOR EACH OTHER
Both of you cannot do all of this alone. You need a divine power to create a successful marriage. Temptations and obstacles lurking readily in every corner hoping for you to show weaknesses and stop fighting its evil power. Pray, pray for a good marriage, for strength to fight away temptations, complacency and selfishness. Ask you family and friends to pray for both of you.
I know it is too early still in our marriage but we see this as our triumph.We have hurdled the first year. One year and more to go. We congratulate ourselves at after 1 year we are still are happy with our decision that we choose each other as life partners.
That why we need all your prayers still that we can make it to Silver or Gold anniversary, hehe… If you have any tips for us, do drop us a line.
Love, love, love…..