Little Miss Honey

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5 WAYS TO HELP OUR KIDS COPE DURING THIS PANDEMIC

September 21, 2020 by Little Miss Honey

kids in pandemic

I mentioned before that this Covid 19 pandemic doesn’t only affect us but our young kids too. Sometimes we forgot that in spite the fact that they maybe too young to understand what is happening in the world today, they are still inadvertently affected by all this. There is a disruption to the normal flow of things and in their lives. We need to take in account our kids in our home and help them cope with the #thenewnormal during this pandemic. Online classes replaced the regular classes. Kids are not allowed to enter any public establishments. They are coop inside the house with nowhere else to go. 

Here are 5 ways to help our kids cope during this pandemic:

  1. Go easy on them

helping kids to cope during this pandemic

Like I mention in my last blog post (See: 12 Mental Health Care Tips During Covid 19) . We are more understanding if our kids are acting up more these days because being coop up inside the house most days can be too restricting for their hyperactive energies. I try to be more patient and don’t go ‘psycho-mom‘ on them when I see them turn our sofa into an indoor playground obstacle or when they spill crackers all over the floor. A reprimand is still on order if they get really really naughty but sometimes my husband and I let it go with a reminder (or sometimes constant reminders). We allow them to sleep in and sleep a little later than usual. We normally not allow the kids to use phones to play games but recently, we allowed our eldest to play pre-approved games on my phone on weekends. We allow a certain amount of leniency and we try not too be too stringent with our rules. We give the kids a space for them to be kids and have fun.

2. Create routines for them

Because the normal flow of things has been disrupted, it is best to create a consistent routine for the kids to minimise a chaotic atmosphere and to give a sense of calm & consistency especially for anxious kids. The kids have their usual breakfast around 8:00 or 9:00 in the morning followed by bath time then followed by online class. We would have lunch then nap time after. They would have their snack time after the wake up from their nap. We would give Naj some short writing exercises before they watch TV. Sometimes Howell wants to join in the writing exercises so we would give him some writing exercises if he feels like it. Kids knows exactly the night time routine of brushing teeth, wash feet ang nighttime prayers. Kids needs the normalcy and consistency in their own house despite the chaos that is going outside.

3. Let them get creative

ways to help kids cope during pandemic

This time is a perfect time for them to enhance their creative juices. My kids loves playing with the blocks and they have interesting creations that they often show off to Mommy & Daddy. We are amazed at what they can create. They also love to draw robots on paper or create invented drawing games. Naj would think up of games for him and his brother which allows them to run around the house sweating and laughing like “Sticky Popcorn Catch Me If You Can”, “Jump Jump Race”, “Camel Ride”, “Transforming Themselves Into Vehicles” & “Santa Claus & the Reindeer”. They would also cut up A4 paper using their hands and put scotch tape on the cut out to create robots, though we have banned them from doing this already because they were creating so much flying mess and lots of wasted paper. Sometimes, they are just happy colouring their colour books. We are glad that they don’t spend the whole day staring blankly at the TV screen.

4. Teach them responsibilities

Being stuck at home is a great opportunity to teach them to be responsible. We have 3 young kids at home- a 6 years old, a 4 years old and a 2 years old. We don’t have a helper and we need them to be aware that even if they are young, they can contribute in the household duties.  As early as now, we want to instill values that they can carry on when they get older. The kids are responsible in taking used milk bottles from the night before during the mornings inside the kitchen, even baby Zeke helps out with that. We sometimes still reminds them from time to time. Naj and Howell also automatically put their plates  and glasses on the kitchen counter sink after eating. I try to remind them to fold their blankets in the mornings after their breakfast. It may not be perfectly folded but they will eventually get the hang of it. Naj is responsible in watering our aloe vera plants every other day which he lovingly calls “Corny”. We help him by creating a calendar checklist for him  pasted on the ref door when he needs to water Corny. He loves this assignment and never begrudging does his duties. He is a little bit sad now that his Corny ‘s leaves are turning brown so he is hoping he can still resurrect it. 

kids watering aloe vera plants

5. Be present

Now that we have the kids 24/7 at home, I try to be mindful to be more present with them. We love slow breakfast mornings together when I don’t have morning work duty. I try my best to put my phone away when I am with them. I try to soak in the moments that I have with them – listening to their imaginative stories, praising their creations, nap times with them, cuddle times in the bed, watching cartoons with them, doing our nighttime prayers. Upon the insistence of my kids, I try to join their hide & seek games, Sticky Popcorn Catch me If You Can, race from bedroom to living room & back again until my stamina allows me. Though after like 2-3 runs in their game, I would tell them , ‘Mommy needs to rest for a bit to catch my breath’. It is a great exercise for me too, hehe…

I hope parents out there might find this list helpful. Kisses to your little ones. I pray this Covid 19 will go away hopefully by 2021. Inshallah!

Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: coping tips, covid 19, kids, pandemic, parenthood, parenting

MOMMY GUILT

April 10, 2018 by Little Miss Honey 43 Comments

Mommy Guilt

I am a full-time working mom and a part-time blogger so I would chase time like crazy. Time is a precious commodity and seems to slip through my hands so fast like a moist sand on the beach. I try to catch the 6:30AM bus before the sun rises in Singapore to reach the MRT statio. then ride again another bus to go to work. My little ones are still in dreamland when I would leave, not feeling the soft peck on the cheeks that I would leave them before I head to work. Then by 5:30PM to 6:00PM, I would try to rush home and start my usual commute back home: bus-MRT-bus. I live far from my workplace. My travel time is 1 hr and 30 minutes minimum back and forth. So most often than not, I would reach home with the sky dark and sad at around 7:30PM or 8:00PM. If I am held back at work for deadlines and meeting, I can go home really really late. And I would see my boys curled up in our bed sleeping soundly, too tired & too sleepy from waiting up for their mom.

I know that I need to work hard to provide for my family with the help of my husband’s income and I supplement it with my little earning from blogging and freelance writing assignments. So work is necessary but I couldn’t help feel guilty that I have so little time for my kids on the weekdays.

Mommy Guilt

I am glad that I have my Saturdays and Sundays for them. I try my best to make up for the lost time from my busy weekdays. But sometimes my mommy guilt would creep up to me when I snap at them especially on a Sunday when I am without a nanny and I have to do all the household chores with my protruding pregnant belly while they would throw toddler tantrums or make start their MMA fights, making me their tired referee. I am an exhausted mom for working like a mad woman from Monday to Friday and I feel bad that the crazy tired working woman goes home with low energy, extreme physical exhaustion, mind full of anxieties & worries and occasional snaps & loses patience to her young kids who needs a healthy, cheerful, present mom to attend to their needs.

I want to be the best mom that I can be for my kids like any moms. With all the supermoms in social media who can produce abundant breast milks, create educational activities and make creative bento lunches for their kids, most ordinary moms like me, who would allow gadgets to watch during meal time in restaurant so they will sit still or shove sugar snacks into my kid mouth, would flush in shame and guilt and dim in comparison. Parenting world especially the motherhood club has becoming more competitive and judgmental in this era of Facebook & Instagram.

People would make insensitive comments about your kids’ behavior and give unsolicited advices on how to raise kids. But the funny part is that those who often give out these comments are unmarried adults who never has kids. I wish to tell them: “Wait ’til you have one. We are often the best parents in our mind until we became parents ourselves.”

Digital Distraction and Mommy Blogger Guilt

From: Unveiled Wife

There was a time when I deleted all my social media accounts. That time I only have two, Friendster (remember this?) and Facebook. But I activated my Facebook again on 2010 after my US trip because my galpals said it is the best way we can share photos of each other and keep in touch. And I never looked back. I enjoyed social media, adding in Twitter (which I recently privated), Pinterest and Instagram. But I have deleted my Snapchat, Foursquare, and Tumblr already. Pretty much, social media has been part of my life and I assumed a greater percentage of people have been accustomed to have it as part of theirs too.

I also have started blogging since 2009 out of love for writing and nothing more. I started being consistent in writing entries when I was encouraged by my fiancé’ that time to keep writing and by 2013, I really got serious with it and eventually, attracted sponsorship and collaboration which allowed me to earn a little from it.

But as the blog collaborations grew, so did the deadlines, more blog event invites, more time consumed to finishing blog posts & taking good photos for sponsored posts. I love the blessings, opportunities, creating good content and all the perks but it was overwhelming and it also means a portion of my time for my kids will be spent on going to blog events, writing and taking photos.

To keep my (modest) influence as a blogger relevant as my partnership with companies & brands and more contracts of agreements multiplied, I need to keep my social media engagement in tip-top game. I am not really good at it as my contemporaries but I have to try my best as not to disappoint the brands who signed me on for collaboration. It would require me to be glued to my phone almost every hour especially during the time when Instagram algorithm changed and we need to increase our Instagram engagement by doing load of comments to same niche influencers, do a like-for-like exchange, participate in Instagram pods and other techniques to beat the algorithm and increase followers & engagement.

Then I realised why am I try to engaged unknown people who give half-hearted & not-sure-if-sincere comments and robbing my loved-ones of my precious time who deserved it more. There was a time after I given birth to my first-born that I realised maybe I can never blog again. But somehow I managed to create a schedule for me to blog while he takes a nap after I get back from work in the clinic. But soon, our family was growing and so were my blogging commitments. I managed to work around that by doing mobile blogging on my daily commute back & forth to work. But still sometimes, I have to do quick adjustment and proofreading on my laptop at home before publishing.

One weekends, I need to take sponsored product photos at home in the mornings to get the natural light. One time, I was trying to take photos, doing my flatlay styling of the products while my two kids are getting my attention, making noises, whining and crying. Then I stopped and look at my eldest, “What do you want, Naj?” Our helper who has been with us for almost 3 years and is an onlooker of the commotion, said, “He wants you, Mommy.” And right then and there, my heart broke into thousand pieces. From then on, I became more selective with the collaborations and blog invites that I take.

I stopped trying to exhaust myself in being active in social media all the time to keep up with my blogging contemporaries and practices slow blogging, pushing out articles at on my own pace. I would leave my phone in my bag when I get home and give my kids my undivided attention. I started to know my priorities & what is essential and put in perspective, who & what deserves my time. My kids needs me to be with them, undistracted and present.

The Reality

Motherhood is indeed the hardest job in the world. We learn as we go along. The deceptive world of Facebook & Instagram has created an irrational demand for perfection to mothers. We just need to inhale and exhale, do the best we can, try another day to be better, stop comparing ourselves to the supermoms of social media and just love our kids unconditionally. We may never shake that mommy guilt off totally but we can try not being too hard on ourselves and just love our kids the best way we know how…..

Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: blogger, children, kids, mommy diaries, social media, unveiled wife

MOM OF BOYS

January 30, 2018 by Little Miss Honey 57 Comments

Mom of Boys

I am currently on my 6th month of pregnancy to Baby #3. Our family and friends are all excited on the gender reveal of Baby #3. Hubby and I have always planned to have kids with 2 years age gap, aiming to have 3 kids (still deciding if we want 4 kids) to complete the family.

Mom of Boys

Early this month, my little family along with my parents, crammed into a small taxi heading to the hospital for my scheduled detailed ultrasound scan and excited to know our baby’s gender. It was no secret, we wanted a girl. I have two boys, two wonderful active boys and we wanted to feel how it’s like to have a daughter to raise too. Plus I have two sons who clings to their mommy possessively, I would love for my other half to experience the clinginess that I heard would be directed to the daddy if you got a daughter.

In the ultrasound room, I was accompanied by my husband and our funny rambunctious kiddos who kept climbing up and down the stretcher, lying down beside me, hugging & kissing me and asking too many silly questions while I am being prepared for the scan. We had a nice experienced Filipino lady radiology technician who was understanding enough not to mind the rowdiness of our two boys and just smiled at the sweet chaos they creating in her ultrasound room. She asked us instantly, “Do you want to know if your baby is a boy or girl which was replied with an excited “Yes!”

Then she squeeze the cold ultrasound jelly into my gravid 6-month belly, her expert hands maneuvered my protruding abdomen with swift strokes and said, “Oh no, still a boy.” and she let out a little nervous laugh. We asked her politely if she can checked again which she obliged with a knowing smile and confirmed her initial findings.

Though my succeeding sentiments of that revelation would cast a shadow of sadness to my beautiful soon-to-be son when he reads this, I hope he would forgive his mommy’s imperfect human heart and I hope he would believe me when I say to him,” It’s not you, it’s me. You are wanted and you are loved so much by us.”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Allow me to explain. I have always thought I would have a daughter, growing up to a family of women (my mama is the youngest of 7 daughters, no brothers). I have always been a girly-girl and dreamt of sharing girly advice on makeup, fashion, love and friendships to my daughter. I always believe I would be a great mom to a girl (now, I am thinking otherwise.) I nervously thought I will have a girl for my eldest because of my mom’s side of the family having a strong heredofamilial tendencies in having female offsprings but my hubby and I really wanted a boy for our first-born. God granted us our wish.

We went to dinner after our trip to the hospital. I got to have a little moment alone with my husband and I looked up to him and asked, “Is it ok if we will have only sons?” He said, “Of course, you will be our Queen.”, giving me a quick kiss on my forehead. He also added, understanding what I felt with no words uttered, “Please don’t be sad, ok? We don’t want our baby to feel that.” He also wanted a daughter so much but what is important for him is that we have a healthy normal baby. Just a little side note for people to understand, I have delivered both my kids via caesarean section with only 2 years gap (it is actually advisable to give at least a 3 years gap) & now going thrice, it can be a risk for uterine rupture if I go for a 4th one. Plus I am also nearing an age which is high-risk for further pregnancies. So I guess, my apprehensions for going for baby#4 are valid.

That night, I prayed to God. I thanked Him for the wonderful blessing of life. My baby is strong and healthy. I felt his active kicks constantly already. We are so excited to meet him and we have been choosing baby names already. We told his two Manongs about him and they were so excited. They keep kissing my belly. I also wept on the possibility that I will never ever have a daughter. I asked for forgiveness for my ungrateful heart when I have been blessed with so much already and I would imposed my selfish whims to God’s will.

I wiped my silly tears away. I felt calmer and gave in to God’s plan for my family. He knows best. He always have a perfect reason why life happens as they do. And I smiled and I let go. I will not allow this childish expectation to cloud the joy of meeting my son. We have decided to name him Zeke – Jaron Zeke. We think it is a very beautiful name. Jaron is variant of Yaron, a Hebrew name meaning “He who sings or shouts praises” and Zeke is from another Hebrew name meaning: “God strengthens, or may God strengthen.”

I started searching for kindred mommies who have all-boys and they were all happy for being spoiled with attention from their boys. They believe that raising boys are easier and they felt cool having an all-boys club at home. They will always be the Queen in the house. They did warn me of the crazy days of dealing with cuts, bruises & bleeding gums from active plays and having hoard of little cars, little airplane & toy guns scattered on the floor. I would probably start to enjoy hiking and staying outdoors more. I will have to learn about sports teams, the rules of their favorite sports, cheer if I must but stay neutral if they have opposing teams. I smiled when I read this article online. I may have been destined to be surrounded by handsome strong men to protect me for life.

Moms of Boys

I don’t know if we will ever have our own daughter but for now, I am happy at the thought that I will be a mom of boys, excited even. Am I up for the challenge? Can I really do this? I brush my doubts for now and just enjoy at the beautiful surprise God has laid out for me.

Fellow mom of boys, I would love to hear more stories from you and please share with me some tips & techniques in raising boys. Do drop me a line or we could arrange a meet-up, wouldn’t that be fun?

Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: caesarean section, kids, mom of boys, mommy blogger, mommy diaries, sgmommy, singapore parent blogger, TapInfluencer

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Hi I'm Honey! I am a Filipina who has studied & lived in Saudi Arabia for a few years, worked in Singapore and is currently based in Oman with my husband & our three little boys. I am a medical doctor, a lifestyle blogger, travel junkie, a foodie and a bookworm. I hope I can drizzle a bit of sunshine and inspirations whenever you drop by my blog. Thanks for dropping by! See ya soon.. :)
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