Christian

Looking around these days, I realised that women are having few people to look up to that would model what is classy and dignified femininity. Class was replaced by crass and it saddens me. I am still hoping I will have a daughter eventually and I want her to have good women examples to follow. I was delighted to discover Leslie Ludy’s books that geared toward Christ-centered femininity.

I have read a Leslie Ludy book that she wrote her husband, Eric Ludy entitled When God Writes Your Love Story. It is a great book for single women. I highly recommend you read it before choosing a husband. Now, I discovered 3 more of her books focusing on introducing young ladies in a lifestyle that is set-apart from the usual modern women of today. The books are heavily centered on creating a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and developing a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. Maybe many women will find it too intense or will be turned off by the emphasis on Christian spirituality. I know in the modern society of today that mentioning God in our sentences can come off as old-fashioned or uncool. I have to admit that I am also embarrassed of talking too much about my faith of fear of coming off too intense, too spiritual or even a hypocrite. But being a product of an-all-girls Catholic school, Leslie Ludy’s words spoke to me. And I realised its importance in the world today. I would want my daughter(s) to read her books. I want them to seek Jesus first before seeking romantic relationships.

I believe her 3 books, Authentic Beauty, The Set-Apart Femininity and The Set-Apart Woman are like a trilogy. You start with Authentic Beauty then The Set-Apart Femininity then The Set-Apart Woman.

THE AUTHENTIC BEAUTY

This is my favourite among the 3. It is best to start with this book. It is the shaping of the set-apart woman. Women love to be like princesses and hopes to find their prince. In this book, Leslie illustrates that we are all princesses and our ultimate Prince is Jesus Christ. People shouldn’t misunderstand this in a perverse manner but rather an initimate spiritual relationship with the one True Prince, Jesus Christ. She wrote, “an ongoing, passionate romance with our True Prince is the foundation for success in every other area of our life.” Women are guilty for obsessing in looking for Mr. Right. So we flirt, we compromise our ideals, we get desperate. But we didn’t realise that men can never fulfil all the yearnings of love we want. Even if you got the nearly perfect man for your husband, it will never give you all the love you are searching for. “Only when we fall i love with Jesus Christ and build our lives completely around Him can experience human love and romance in its purest and most beautiful form.“. This is a powerful message for the young generation of today.

THE SET-APART FEMININITY

After introducing the set-apart lifestyle, in this book, Leslie urged women for a radical concept that is contrary to the modern lifestyle by leading life that is God’s sacred intent for every young woman. It delve deeper in how to achieve their heroic type of femininity by how you relate to men, the direction of your life, aligning your daily existence with God’s priorities, etc. Leslie shares a lot of stories of women living a set-apart lives. I am impressed that there are people who conduct themselves in such a way that in Catholic Church would regards as saints or martyrs. Of course, there will still be a daily struggle until death since we all are human and imperfect.

THE SET-APART WOMAN

This book is like a review on the first two books. Each chapter starts with verses from the Bible or a Christian book then it ends with a call to action for discussion and personal reflection. Each chapter reiterates God’s invitation to sacred living. It shows you how to cultivate Christ-honoring daily habits, trade unfulfilling distractions, and overcome fear.

I will be keeping these books to give to (I hope) my daughter(s). I am hoping to grab one of Leslie Ludy’s books, The Set-Apart Motherhood. She also have a monthly online magazine, The Set-Apart Girl.

I have to clarify first for those who would readily jump into conclusion that I am having trouble with my marriage. Haha! Nope, I am not in a hopeless marriage but this book caught my eye in a Christian bookstore that I believe some of my friends would benefit from. But before I give them this book as a gift, I have to check first if it would give value to their lives.

It is a small thin book but contains a lot of gems to consider for wives. What is interesting about this book is that it is written by Malou Tiongson-Ortiz who is separated but not annulled to her husband. It is hard to follow the advice of a person who doesn’t have a successful marriage of her own. But then as you read on, you realize that she used her experiences to become a lesson for sharing and inspite of her troubled marriage, she is blessed with wisdom & fortitude. She is a graduate of Fine Arts in University of Santo Tomas and currently pursing the Masters of Arts in Pastoral Counselling at the Asian Theological Seminary. She also is the former Vice President of the Down Syndrome Association of the Philippines. She has written several inspirational books. She is also a mother of 2 boys and one girl.

Malou started her book saying that ‘Marriage is not a joke.’ (Magasawa’y di biro). That is true. Marriage is not a fairytale story. It can be bloody and messy. It is a lot of hardwork. But it is also a source of joy, inspiration, contentment, support and of course, love. She recounted a bit of her unsuccessful marriage and justified why she is writing this book. Her book is anchored heavily on the Christian view and the Bible. She emphasize the biblical approach of marriage which is very hard to swallow for the modern women of today that ‘Wife should submit to their husband.’ She explored on the meaning of love. She gave an example of Agape Love, how God love us unconditionally which we try our very best to emulate with our husbands. We must love them, warts and all because we have to face it, wives, too, aren’t always the Disney princesses they aspire to be. She emphasized that “Love is a decision, not a feeling.”

Malou has a chapter on the Legal Wife – You and a chapter on the Other Woman – Her. She gave an example of an ideal legal wife through the bible – the Proverbs 31 woman. We can try our best to be a good wife to our husband according to God’s plan. However, there are circumstances that inspite of the wife’s unfailing love, broken marriages still happen. Then the question is ‘Martyr ka ba?’ .

Then there is the Other Woman. Husband take on another woman whether the wife has shortcomings or not. How a woman become the Other Woman could be due to a deeper psychological need that hasn’t been addressed.

Of course, there is the option of annulment (divorce is not an option in the Philippines). Is that the solution? Annulment is the dissolution of marriage but in the biblical perspective, there is no such thing as annulment. You may annul your marriage but in the eyes of God, you are still marriage. So that may be the premise of the author why she remained married in name to her husband even though they are not living together.

If I will have a take-away for this book is that you should offer your marriage to God, do the best that you can in your marriage, don’t burden your husband by forcing him to be the only source of love and happiness and no matter what happens, life goes on. It is nice touch in every end of chapter is a prayer.

I recommend this to all marriages may it be hopeless or not.

BOOKS OF THE MONTH: LESLIE LUDY’S BOOKS

BOOK OF THE MONTH: ANG DIARY NG LEGAL WIFE