INSPIRATIONAL SUNDAY: FINDING MR. RIGHT

I was asked recently how to find Mr. Right. Hmm… That’s a hard question. Finding Mr. Right ? Giving relationship advice is like threading on thin ice. I don’t claim to be an expert on relationship. I recently married a great guy and we are very happy with no dramas or complications. We are very much in our “honeymoon stage”.  So my relationship advice might come out biased to some. But here is my attempt to  to answer that question, How to find Mr.Right?

According to Bo Sanchez, “How To Find You One True Love“, there is no such thing as soulmate or only one Mr. Right. God has given us free will and laid out several options of men to choose from. It might not come easy to accept this concept especially by true-blue romantics. I once told a guy-friend of mine who tends to shift from girl to girl,  “Choose one and make it work“. Nobody is perfect. There will always be something lacking or annoying in your current partner. Just choose one. Don’t just pick him/her but your other foot is out of the door just in case someone better will come along and you will run out of the door to the next person. I am pretty sure that next person will have another set of shortcomings just like the other person you left. But you must take this advice with a grain of salt. Choosing just anyone also needs a spicy ingredient: its chemistry or compatibility. I learned this the hard way. Just because a person is perfect on paper or mighty good-looking, it doesn’t mean you can make it work. You need enough ounce of  chemistry to keep it going. I assume you would want to be with this person for the long haul. Its important that you can at least have a plausible lengthy conversations and see things eye-to-eye. What would a handsome face and a good diploma do when you are stuck on traffic and you have nothing to talk about?

Know your intentions. I known some women who says they want to be in a relationship but their actions says the opposite. It is best to be honest with yourself if you are serious in wanting to be in a committed relationship. Go to a quiet place like a coffeeshop maybe. Get a pen and paper and list the qualities you want in a man who you hope to be your partner. You can  go wild with this list. But remember don’t get boxed in with this list. This is just to organised your thoughts in what type of man you want for a partner. But never expect that you will meet a guy with all the qualities you have listed. Be realistic. Admitting that you are ready for a serious relationship and putting it in paper is like telling the universe  that yes, you are ready, Believe me when I made that list that day, the very next day, a nice man started courting who later became my husband. And no, not all the traits I listed was present in my husband, hehe, which is fine by me. And please also don’t expect that same thing will happen the next day when you make the list. I might just been a coincidence in my case. But it is worth a shot.

Be open. Don’t discriminate. When someone asked you out, don’t pull out that list from your bag. Its just a date, a chance to make new friends. It is not a job application for a husband. Don’t marry that list because it will never make you find the man of your dreams. It is just a guide but not a contract. Plus life will suprise you of what you need in your life is not exactly what you want in life. If you open up to possibilities , you might truly find your Mr. Right.

You can tell your friends and family in passing that you are single and if they know anyone they might set you up with, you are game for it. But don’t act desperate. This is one of the qualities men hate and will drive away potential suitors. Men are intelligent, they can smell desperation like a stinky old skunk. If you want it too much, you will never get it just like a cat running after her own tail.

Be the best version of yourself. Improve yourself and occupy yourself with self-improvement. Not because you are look for a man but because you want to be a better person. While you are busying improving yourself, I am sure around the corner, a person will see what a great person you are and will be magnetize by your radiance. Just pray and don’t lose hope. Love  is just around the corner.  You will not find Mr. Perfect but you will definitely find Mr. Right for you.

                         image from web