Parenting is hard. I don’t know if I would survive it if I haven’t got my partner-in-crime with me this crazy job of parenting. I guess that is why God created fathers. I have seen other people though who have done the single parenting gig with great finesse. It can be done. I have seen my mom do it when my dad was working overseas. But it comes a time when my mom decided that we need a father figure in our lives so my mom & my siblings packed our bags and lived together with my amazing Papa in the Middle East. There are several wonderwomen and men who can do it all singlehandedly. But I have to say and admit that I am too weak to navigate the parenting journey alone.
I have lucked out in having my husband as my partner in parenting our kids. He always wanted to be a dad. So it comes a little easy for him to accept his part in this “job”. 50-50, right hubs?
It helps that my husband and I are opposites in our methods in raising our kids. My oversentimentality is balanced by his practical and logical thinking. If it was up to me, I would have showered my sons with excessive hugs and kisses but my husband would always be the one who remembers to brush our toddler’s teeth & remember to buy our baby’s formula milk (yes, I do mixed feeding) because we are running out of it. So without him, I would have a bad smelling kisses from Naj and a very hungry baby.
I am glad that our sons usually sleep through the night but once in awhile, they wake up due to soiled diapers and our toddler asked for milk at night. I would wake up at times but at times, my hubby does the waking up too to change our kids diaper or get milk for our toddler (our 3 months old son is breastfed at night). I am glad it is not all up to me. It’s nice that someone shares the responsibility.
You see, I am the silly one among the two of us. I love dancing with our sons and singing crazy made-songs with them. But I am not up for the rough play. Since I got sons and my toddler especially like the rough playing, I am glad he got his dad to play with him. They would horse around, catch ball, jump & tumble on the bed etc. His dad is his official playmate. I get to relax and just give him a hug after they are tired and sweaty.
I am never the patient one nor am I a born teacher. My elder son learns how to say his first few words because of my husband. My husband would consistently repeat to him words over and over again until he learns. He would bring him to the condo parking area and show him cars. My elder son’s first word was “car”. He learned “ball” from my husband to who bought him a small basketball to play with. Naj learned to dance when there is music because of my husband. They also have this special High-Five that only his dad and him can do. If it was up to me, Naj would still mumbling jibberish. Because when he speaks to me in jibberish, I replied back in jibberish alien talk also, haha. Just yesterday, Naj know how to answer the question, “How old are you?” He would say, “Two!” (which sounds more like Choo). Yes, his dad taught him that too.
My husband is the stricter one. Thank God for that. I am the weaker one. I can’t seem to be overly stern towards them. Though my husband and I promised we will raised our kids not to be spoiled. He don’t mind playing the bad cop to my good cop as long as we achieve what we hope for our kids – that they wont be self-indulgent little brats. Though, sometimes I try to be a bad cop so he wont always be the bad one all the time.
My husband is my yin to my yang in parenthood. Our strengths and weaknesses help us both to be better parents to our kids. I salute those people who can do it all alone. I am humbled by my realization that I cannot do this alone. I feel better going out with kids if my husband is with me compared to any other people who would accompany me with the kids. I feel more secure when he is with us. Plus I cannot imagine not having him to share all the daily funny, interesting discoveries with our kids. That is the best part. I get to share this wonderful journey with him, with someone who appreciate the little stories I have about our kids. We often get text messages during the day from each other, “Did you know Naj did this today…” “Fynn is so adorable, I’ll send you a photo I took of him..” One conversation, my husband said, “We are so lucky, we got great kids...”. I forgot to tell him, “Our kids and I are even more lucky, we got you” Father’s Day was a few days ago, in our book, it’s still Father’s Day and our kids & I want to say, “Thank you for being our rock and we love you!“
Cheers to all the dads in the world, stepdads, granddads, mommies who have to be daddies at the same time, foster dads, dads in heaven, dads in all shape & form. I know now why God created a father. He has a special role in every child. Let us thank them for doing the very best that they can for their kids…
To my amazing Papa, our strong silent hero, happy Father’s Day… We are blessed to have you in our life and my kids to have you as their Lolo. I love you!