Singapore

10 SURVIVAL TIPS I’VE LEARNED FROM LIVING ABROAD

December 6, 2019 by Little Miss Honey 1 Comment

I had a conversation with another expat working for the first time away from her home country and away from her family. She asked for tips in how to survive working abroad, considering that I have been an overseas foreign worker for 6 years in Singapore plus my few years studying high school in Saudi Arabia. I don’t consider myself an expert in expat living but I shared with her some of the things I did learn along the way in my few years working abroad. These tips somehow worked for me and I hope it would help other expats especially new expats in thriving and making the most of their time in a foreign land.

So here goes:

1. Follow the rules & respect the culture

When my whole family moved to Saudi Arabia, one of the things I would never forget my mother told me after a year of living there was that we should always to follow the rules & respect the country’s culture. Coming from my mother it means a lot because she can be a rebel and argue her way into bending the rules if it is an ill-defined rule. There were many rules we have to take note but we followed it and respected it. As expats, we are “guests” in the country that welcomed us to live, study and work. We must be gracious to return the hospitality by respecting their culture and their people.

2. Mingle with the locals

When I was working in Singapore, I was the only foreigner in the clinic. All my Filipino friends were living far from my area too. So I learned to make friends with the wonderful locals and I am so glad I did. There is a disadvantage if we box ourselves to the circle of people we are accustomed to and that we are familiar or similar to. We don’t get to open our mindset and learn new things if we don’t make new acquaintances. I love that I get to interact and hang out with the locals of the country I am living in. They give you the best tips about their country. You get to learn the language very fast too. That is why I learned lots of Singlish phrases because of that and now, Arabic too. They also would take you and tell you the best places for the local foods which is a big plus for a foodie like me.

3. Manage your expectations

Some people would think living abroad is like a dream, a new land of many possibilities, a step up from the home country, easy life, lots of money, etc. But it is best to manage your expectations pragmatically. Do your research before you go to the country. Ask questions if you know anyone who are currently residing in the country. Some expect living abroad would be going to la-la-land but you must realised that moving away from your home country, there will always be an adjustment stage. Depending on the individual but it would take roughly around 6-8 months of adjustment. Some can adapt to the new country at 3 months and some can take 1 year. It is never going to be easy, I will tell you that. Many new changes and challenges are encountered. So be mindful of your expectations so you won’t get disappointed.

4. Handle your finances wisely

If you are working abroad, one thing that you should keep a very close eye on is your finances. You can easily get swayed into mishandling your finances if you are earning well and you would be influenced to spend unnecessarily on frivolous things because of several reasons like: everyone is doing it, out of boredom, a cure for stress or peer pressure. You must remember you are temporarily working in a country. It is not forever. You will have to take better care of your finances and use the work opportunity to save, save and save.

5. If all else fails, be kind

Living abroad has its ups and down. You will get to meet different people from all walks of life. You will meet difficult people who would occasionally ignite anger or stress or anxiety within you. But take a deep breath, say your piece firmly if you want to be heard but always remain kind and polite. Again, I will remind you that this is not our place. We cannot afford to throw a massive tantrum. I have seen people sadly who did & even some jokingly and it end up really badly with public humiliation and jail time involved. Yikes, let us avoid that. There are things sometimes that we cannot win. So the best response would always be kindness without being a pushover. Kindness reaps good results always.

6. Stop complaining and looks at all things in a positive light

When the going gets tough, we tend to compare the comfortable life back home and we end up hating and complaining about the life abroad. We should take note that living abroad will always be uncomfortable and tough but we have chosen this life. If you cannot bear it, leave and deal with that decision. But while you are in it, just look at it in a positive way. Living abroad is an adventure. And like all adventures, during the journey, there will be rocky waters, difficult terrain, air turbulence but there are also blue skies, calming breeze, panoramic views, twinkling star and new wonderful experiences. So take heart, change your perspectives.

7. Be flexible and open to new experiences

If you are living abroad, take that opportunity to discover new things. Do not live in your comfortable cocoon of the familiar. Try out the local food. Explore the place. Do not dismiss the offer to try out a new experience as long as it is safe and does not clash with your internal beliefs.

8. Set boundaries

Though I advised you to make lots of friends, explore and be kind, it doesn’t mean you also have to be totally naïve. Living outside of your comfort zones exposes you to a larger circle of new people, be wary in who to trust and open up to. Protect yourself. Be selective in who you can allow to show your vulnerabilities. Set boundaries to allow only people you know for sure has your best interest at heart.

9. Always remain humble

Sometimes if you are exposed to the world, earning well and living a jet-set lifestyle, it can go up in to your head and think you are a “woman of the world” (or “man of the world”). Hold your horses for a minutes, Your Royal Highness but I am sorry, you are not. We may have created a filtered version of ourselves in our brain that we are all that but we are not. Sorry but some people living & working abroad would go home and act like they are better than those who have never left the country to work. We may work in a different land but we and our fellow citizens back home have the same purpose, working to earn a living and support our family. There is no competition who is better or who is superior. Remain humble.

10. Be resilient

One trait that will make you survive living abroad is resiliency, a word I learn in medical school. You must have a tough spirit, an ability to be flexible and adaptable, proactive rather than reactive and learning to stand up again & again when you fall.

I hope these tips would help those fellow expats surviving in the foreign country they are in. If you have other tips, please do share with us too.

DEAR SINGAPORE, GOODBYE

July 2, 2019 by Little Miss Honey Leave a Comment

Dear Singapore,

Hello! It has been 3 months since I left you but I didn’t give you a formal goodbye letter in our 6 years long affair. How should I start? It is difficult like all break-ups. My thoughts are jumbled in my brain. My emotions are a mixture of many things that are hard to express in words. Hence, this is me, writing to you 3 months after. Apologies for my incoherent introduction to my letter but here goes…

I first met you when I was 14 years old during my brief vacation with my family. I saw you. I developed a fleeting infatuation with your infectious charm. I had this childish daydream that we have a future together. But I have forgotten about it as I grew up like most childish dreams. But serendipitously, I found myself face-to-face with you, 6 years ago, a naive girl, fresh out of medical residency, trying out to be a big brave girl in a foreign land. You are beautiful in a modern, intimidating kind-of-way, almost too mature and too serious. That charm I thought I saw during my brief vacation when I was 14 was camouflaged by my sudden attack of panic being clueless in a place that I may not be able to adjust to. Everything was too new for me. The smell and flavour of the foods; the high-rise buildings that are called homes; the incomprehensible dialogues exchanged around me that sounds a bit like English but I couldn’t seem to comprehend; the computer screens in front of me that I used when seeing patients instead of my trusty pen and paper, the non-smiley faces when I approach strangers and the fast-paced living like time was running out. I always welcome solitude in my life so it never bothered me, being alone in a different country. I just felt like I have bitten off something more than I can chew. We were too different for each other. You were too sophisticated for a simple gal like me from a laid-back simple city. In our 3-4 months together, I felt that it is just not going to work out. You are you and I am me. I tried my best to love you. For 8 months to a little over less than a year, I have to admit I cried buckets of tears, bled a bit, sweat too and my heart got broken a couple of times from fear that I am not good enough, disappointment in myself for not being strong enough, from regret and many other feelings I wanted to forget. But I have to say in those 8 months, I saw a glimpse of you that I was slowly liking: the convenience of transportation, dipping the piece of chicken on a sweet brown thick soy sauce, the innovative automated many things I see everywhere, the easy way of paying for things I need and certain transactions; the fast internet connectivity. But at 8 months, I wasn’t still sure of you or I guess I wasn’t still sure of me being with you.

But slowly, I saw it. Your scowling face gradually turned into a smile. A smile that inch wider and wider as the day past. I got it! It takes time for you to warm up to new people. You assess, probe and observe with a very logical and precise manner if a person is genuine and could be trusted. Then you let them in. I guess, I passed the test. I remember this observation very well. I would always buy my Kopi Peng (Iced Coffee) in this hawker stall with this middle-aged auntie who would look at you, black-faced and grunting when taking beverage orders. I endured this gloomy exchange every morning just to get my morning pick-me-up beverage. But as days goes by, auntie would slowly smile at me as I hand my Singaporean coins. When she saw me with my growing pregnant belly as she takes my regular order of Kopi Peng and Chicken Pao, she would tease me that my baby would look like a Kosong (Black Coffee) and the baby’s cheeks would be as big as a pao. (FYI: my 2nd son did have pao cheeks but he has fair skin & not kosong). She would lovingly call me, Mei Mei. One time I drop by to buy coffee during my off day with my pao baby in my carrier. The 2 aunties in the coffee shop wanted to carry him and took selfies with him. I had more stories like this that made me feel that this is a place that I can call my second home. I have an uncle neighbour would greet me when I pass by his favorite bench below our old HDB building and he would bring me cut-up fruits from the hawker stall to quickly leave in my consultation room in the clinic. I love the long walks to places which provided me the exercise I needed without realising I am exercising. I love that I am spoiled by the convenience: the grocery delivery, automated and online bank payments; the availability of everything I need and I never thought I wanted; the free parks & exercise areas in parks, many more. I was loving the food so much, I can never stop praising it. I love that I can understand your language now and I even know how to speak a little bit of it lah. I love how eclectic the city is. You see different races communing peacefully together. It is amazing and wonderful to watch. It is both urban & nature (even if it is man-made nature). The city has wonderful features like the Gardens By The Bay, Marina Bay Sands, Sentosa Island, The Merlion Statue that has been flocked by tourists to experience & view and here I am, living in the city.

Yes, I fell in love with you. It was a serious relationship, not that teenybopper kind-of love. In that course of 6 years, it was not perfect like all relationships, there were still things that we don’t agree upon like taxes, the stress & expectation to be perfect, your “kiasu-ness“, you bringing up whenever we fight that I am a foreigner & very different from you, your irritation to my too cheerful personality & carefree ways and my lack of rigidity & propensity for magical thinking that is devoid of logic & structure. But in spite it all, we stuck it out. We did tahan each other as much as we can. We had a bond, a unique bond. We needed each other. I need you and you need me even if I know deep in my heart, I am replaceable. We can’t deny the years we had together. It felt right, we know it. I can say we look good together, don’t we? We got pictures to prove it, lots of pictures. We have beautiful memories together, memories that will last a long long time.

at Botanic Gardens

But like most love stories, forever is not written in the stars. I have felt it already a few years before I left, that nagging feeling that this is not working out, that feeling that I do love you but I am not in love with you anymore. Maybe because I have changed. Or also maybe because we both wanted different things. We are moving apart. I felt sad when I had that realisation but I wasn’t that naïve little girl 6 years ago anymore. I became resilient and brave because you taught me how to. You are still you: sophisticated, logical, stubborn, unchanging in your ways. But I can’t be like you. I am seeking for more laid-back lifestyle, a slow-paced kind of life. Blame Marie Condo for this change of heart but I want to live in less and reject the excess. And you have to admit you have the tendency for living in the excess because it is all just there, all available with one swipe of the card. I prefer to find peace of mind and avoid the hustle & bustle of urban living. I want to stop punishing myself to be perfect because I am not. I hope you understand what I am articulating here. It is not you but me. I must move on.

I love you but we have to do this. We cannot insist to be together when we both know deep in our hearts this will only delay the inevitable: us breaking up eventually. But thank you for everything. Xie xie! Terih Mah Kasih! (Sorry I cannot say thank you in Tamil.) You are amazing. You are special. You were my first, you know and first love never dies, they say. So in spite all our occasionally quarrels and misunderstandings, you will always have a place in my heart. I have to say goodbye now. Please don’t forget me. I will definitely miss you but I have to let you go. Goodbye, Singapura!

Sincerely Yours,

Little Miss Honey

7 SINGAPORE FOODS TO EAT WHEN YOU MISS FILIPINO FOODS (OFW EDITION)

June 19, 2019 by Little Miss Honey 2 Comments

When I was young, I was never a fan of Pinoy foods. I have always been a picky eater so I would often reject the healthy home-cooked Filipino foods made by our amazing yaya. This is not because it doesn’t taste good but rather the familiar & the healthy breeds contempt into my tastebuds. My gullible 6-year-old self would prefer the artificial taste of fast-food junk foods to authentic home-cooked meals.

Fast forward when I was in my 30’s working in Singapore, somehow I surprisingly craved for Filipino foods and all the meals our yaya used to cooked for us: laswa, linutik, tinola, sinabawan, etc. I would romanticise every encounter of real Filipino foods in Singapore. We, Filipino overseas foreign workers in Singapore are blessed with the accessibility of some Filipino foods & products that are available. There are some Filipino restaurants found in Singapore like Gerry’s Grill, Comida Fiesta, Don Lechon, Lechon Republic, Tapa King and the famous Jollibee. In supermarts, you can find Filipino products being sold in the International section and there are several little shops in bus interchange selling only Filipino products. Hello Katipunan Store, we are talking about you. We are even happy that the condo we are staying have a minimart selling Filipino grocery items. If you are searching for all things Pinoy, head to Lucky Plaza in the heart of the bustling Orchard Road, you will find there lots of Filipino products and ‘carinderia-style’ eateries. I get why Filipinos, who weren’t used to be a fan of their own culinary dishes before, would be ecstatic to taste of any Pinoy foods once they became OFWs. It is simply because the taste feels like home. It is a concoction to ease homesickness with a wonderful helping of nostalgia.

It is easy to just stick to only Filipino foods when you are living aboard especially if you are blessed with the easy availability of it. But it is wonderful to venture out and discover that somehow you find commonalities in foods of your own country and a foreign country with a little difference here and there. To marry both my cravings for Filipino food and innate tendencies to find new food discoveries, I started discovering some Singaporean foods that are somewhat similar to Filipino food favorites:

POPIAH IF YOU ARE CRAVING FOR LUMPIA

Craving for lumpia, try the Popiah. It comes as fried or non-fried. It resembles the Pinoy lumpia sariwa. It contains steamed or stir-fired turnips with bean sprouts & other yummy ingredients depending on the vendor wrapped in a thin wheat flour paper-like crepe very similar to lumpia. This is often drizzled by a sweet sticky sauce. I love both the fried and non-fried version. For the non-fried, I love the popiah in Food Republic. The sauce of the popiah have crushed nuts in it and it taste absolutely amazing. But my go-to fast-food would always be the fried popiah. You can buy it in little Malay kiosk you can find here and there. I love the one near my old workplace and it comes with a sweet spicy sauce for me to dip into it.

2. SOYA BEANCURD PUDDING IF YOU ARE CRAVING FOR TAHO

Sometimes we, Pinoys would miss buying from the friendly vendor balancing two big steel container on his shouldr, shouting “Taho” in our neighbourhood. We love that silken tofu swimming in a hot pool of warm brown sweet syrup with sago pearls on it placed in a transparent cup. There is one very similar to that in Singapore: the soya beancurd pudding. It is also made of tofu. Some soya pudding kiosks in malls sells them in a bowl often chilled, most of it don’t have any sweet syrup on it and would be packaged in a firm, smooth, pristine structure unlike our loved “taho“. There are a few beancurd shops in hawker center that sell in it in transparent bowls scooped in a disorganised cutting shapes like the Pinoy taho but usually it is drizzled with a white sweet sugar syrup. I found the perfect beancurd pudding that resembles the taho is found near my old workplace in Pasir Ris. You can buy it plain with just the beancurd or you can choose to have it with a Gula Melaka (brown sugar syrup from Malacca), pearls, red bean, almonds , jelly, etc. To recreate taho, I would buy its with Gula Melaka syrup with pearls and occasionally I would have the one with almonds too. That is my regular lunch while I was pumping milk in the breastfeeding room: Soya Beancurd Pudding and Fried Popiah.

3. MEE SIAM IF YOU ARE CRAVING FOR PALABOK

If you want to see a close cousin of the palabok, try the Nyonya Mee Siam. It is also a noodle dish made of rice-flour vermicelli with thick orange shrimp sauce and it would have big pieces of shrimps & boiled egg in it. This is a savoury dish with a tangy rich flavour. I have tried the dry mee siam in one of the work lunches where we have to create our own buy putting the noodles in a bowls, adding the sauce and the shrimps and other condiments. I wasn’t really impress by it until I tried the soupy mee siam and I am became a fan. My favorite mee siam is in Royal’s Cafe.

4. SATAY IF YOU ARE CRAVING FOR BARBECUE

For Pinoys missing that smokey grilled meat on sticks, look no further than the satay. You can easily finish 10-20 sticks of these. It reminiscent of the much-loved bbq in the Philippines that we would buy from street vendors with smokey grills station along the streets. What makes satay different from the Pinoy bbq is the sauce. It is not marinated in sweet bbq sauce like in the Philippines instead it comes with a sweet peanut sauce for you to dip it in. This dish originated in Indonesia. There are some restaurant in the Philippines that have recreated exactly this called Sate Babe’. My husband and I love the Sate Babe’ in Bob’s, a Bacolod restaurant.

5. CHARSIEW RICE IF YOU MISS TOCINO WITH RICE

It is obvious that we, Pinoys, love sweet foods. One of the go-to breakfast meal is of course, tocino (sweet pork meat) with rice. A dish that taste similar to the tocino, even if it looks not exactly like the Tocino dish is the Charsiew Rice. It has a thick sweet sauce coating the tender pork belly meat that makes it taste somewhat the same as a toucan. This is a great lunch meal in Singapore and will substitute the tocino with rice for the meantime.

Credits : Burpple by Alex Ortega

6. BAK KUH TEH IF YOU ARE CRAVING FOR KANSI

If you miss that sour peppery Ilonggo soup called Kansi then you can find lots of Bak Kuh Teh restaurant that would deliver that except the big bone filled with the yummy slimy bone marrow that is in Kansi soup. But it does the trick with its hot comforting peppery sour to replace the Kansi that cannot be found in Singapore. My favorite Bak Kuh Teh restaurant is Founder’s.

7. BAK CHOR MEE IF YOU ARE CRAVING FOR BATCHOY

Since we are already taking about Ilonggo dishes, of course we need to talk about the dish that is famous in my hometown, Iloilo: The Batchoy. For non-Ilonggos, batchoy is a salty yellow noodle soup with lots of yummy ingredients thrown in it like pork offal, crush pork cracklings and beef loin. I found a similar tasting soup that can pass off as a batchoy in one of the hawker center in Bedok: The Bak Chor Mee. It can be served dry or as a soup. If you miss batchoy, get it as a soup.

Filipino dishes also have strong Chinese influences so you can find your favorite Pinoy Chinese foods in Singapore with slightly differently spelled name but the taste and shape is somewhat similar. Examples are:

Pinoy —-> Singapore

Bihon – Beehoon

Siomai – Siew mai

Lomi – Lor mee

It is amazing how you can find similarities in dishes of a different country to our own. I love having discoveries like these. This article must come with a disclaimer that my tastebuds maybe very different from yours and you would protest that these dishes are not at all identical. I didn’t say that they are 100% the same but they do possess, in my opinion, a slight similarity like a close 2nd cousin to the original that is worth trying. For Filipinos living in Singapore, let me know if you agree with me on these or my tastebuds are just out of wack. Do share with me some Singapore dishes that you think taste a little bit like our Filipino foods that we know and love.